When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”.
Erma Bombeck
This year has flown!!! In lieu of a Christmas letter I thought it would be fun for you to catch up via my blog. I hope you made it here, and oh by the way Happy New Year!!!Life as a newly married wife, mother, full time student and full time Bereavement Coordinator has been chaotic at times to say the least. Many, many lessons in priority issues have presented themselves to me in the last 10 months. I cannot count the number of times I have had to take a deep breath and remind myself of the bigger picture of things. The bigger picture being; time with my husband to get to know one another better, spending as many evenings with Olivia as I can reading to her and just plain helping her learn more about independent living skills, being an active listener with my sons /step sons when they call so that I can give godly counsel when asked, being supportive to Charles as he starts his own business and goes to school for advancing in a new career, finishing my courses and beginning my practicum and internship so that I can graduate in December of 2008, giving God the glory in all of this that He might be praised forever and ever. As you can imagine keeping these goals in focus as everyday life rushes past you at um, how about the speed of light, not to mention the many speed bumps along the way, is challenging and without the Lord downright impossible. For the joy set before Him Christ endured the cross” I was pondering this verse yesterday morning and how Christ kept His purpose in sight at all times while here on earth. As my Master and King I am to follow Him, so it encouraged me and hopefully will continue to do so throughout the New Year. The greatest joy that is set before me is that I will eventually leave this foreign land and go home to live with Christ in the presence of my Father’s Shekinah Glory for eternity It is easy to confuse the everyday issues of life with suffering. There is no doubt that suffering comes in many forms in our humanness, however sometimes what we want to call suffering is really just ordinary life circumstances that should probably not be accounted for as suffering. Like busy schedules, over commitment, lack of finances, lack of a church home because we don’t have our “felt” needs met anywhere, not having the place in life we had dreamt we would, not having perfect children, I think you get the point.
There is a suffering in life that humbles us all to the reality of who we are in comparison to who God is. Loss seems to be the agent behind that kind of suffering that brings us to our knees. This year, as wonderful as it has been to become the wife of Charles, has had some very great losses for us. Some are transitional and others are friends that have been called home to be with their creator. Our little friend Parker is one of the blessed ones to be with Our Lord now. I have not posted since September, and although there are other things that have kept me busy, there has been the heart ache that I felt every time I sat down to blog about this precious lamb. It was difficult to express how much I ached for Jamie and Aaron as they watched their little boy suffer for nine months before he took his last breath here on earth. My friend Susan lost her son a few weeks ago to a tragic accident, my friend Betty lost her husband a week later and the secretary at school lost her husband to cancer after one day of Hospice care less than a week ago. Verne and Lee lost their mother /mother in law: Arlene, this year. Isaac shared with Charles and I how adjusting to the new family unit, as ”awesome” as everyone is, has been trying for him, as he tries to make his way in this world he asks himself, ”Where do I belong?”. He feels like he’s been losing “something” for years. Brenton said yesterday on Christmas Eve that he had a feeling that this last year would be one that he would have a hard time recalling due to all the changes in his life. This morning on Christmas Day I shared with Charles that it was as though the Universe has Shifted. Did you feel it?!*@ The world has shifted on the outside and on the inside we are all scrambling to catch up with it. Like your stomach after a roller coaster ride.
In it all, we are grateful people. Woozy, but grateful! I am grateful for the young men God has placed in my life to nurture and to stand by as they make their way in this temporary world.
Brent 
Zach
Ike 
Josh I am grateful to have a husband who cares about my heart and desires each day to minister to me in whatever way he is called to do, I am grateful for my mom who no matter what loves me and sees me as I am, I am grateful that my sisters know Christ and that we have that incredible bond that comes only from the Holy Spirit, I am grateful for friends who take the time to be real and understand that I need that too. I am grateful to have a daughter who’s God given special needs keep me constantly and humbly seeking His wisdom and direction.
I am grateful that my two friends Susan B. and Don R. beat cancer this year! (Woo Hoo) But, I am grateful too, for the loss that has been gifted to me by the hand of God to make more room in my heart for Him and has driven me to my knees to draw close to Him.
I want to end this post with a little ditty that came my way in the last month or so that I think paints a picture of where my heart is at the end of 2007, and the beginning of 2008: “Life was not meant to be lived so that when we arrive at the grave everything we are is perfect and perfectly intact. Instead, it was meant to be lived passionately, wildly and with lots of bumps, bruises, scrapes and even skid marks on our bottoms as we slide into the end only to say: WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!!”Thanks for taking the time to read what’s going on in my heart and don’t hesitate to ring us up and say hello! We love you all.