A Trodden Way

Once a month I meet with a great group of women and we discuss “the read” of the month.  We also use this time, however short it is, to share what is on our hearts.  How sweet it is to hear from my sisters in Christ and what God is doing in their lives and in their families lives.  I know that whenI share my heart with them there is no judgement, no condemnation just sincere interest and heart felt prayers will result. 

This past month as I was sharing this particular season in my life (aka getting old and seeing my kids go off with their own lives) and my struggle with it; the tears came naturally.  This group of ladies were there for me to encourage me and to point me to the One that would help me make sense of my circumstances.  I’ve always been sensitive even down right sappy actually, but I did not expect this time of my life to produce such sentimentalism from within. 

The kids have grown and have made their way outside of my nurturing and loving arms, except for Olivia for now.  I have rejoiced with them and have paused for reflection with them when hurdles have presented themselves along their paths.  I have prayed for them endlessly and will continue to do so. Yet, there is nothing like realizing that your kids are no longer yours….and then realizing even more they never really were, they were lent to us from God for a season.

Our children are ours for a very short amount of time.  Parenting no matter how good or bad you are at it eventually ends and we are left with an emptiness that seems insurmountable at times.  Even when our children mature into functional adults who are living their lives to both please God  and to contribute to the society He Providentially places them in, it is difficult to let go of the idea of who they were to us.  So much of us is poured out into them that when that stops it really is mind boggling not to mention heart challenging.

Watching my second son Isaac be sworn into the military this week and saying goodbye to his tearful bride was emotionally challenging for me.  Just two weeks ago when my daughter Olivia’s Dr. suggested I look into a program for independent living arrangements for her the emotional roller coaster had begun, so seeing Ike leave for basic training was just one of the loop de loops on that roller coaster ride.  Seeing on facebook my boys exhange “i love you”‘s was this mother’s answer to prayer, the rush right after the loop de loop if you will.  Wow!

So this is where I am right now.  Although I am being challenged on a daily basis by my emotions I always come back down to the Truth and that is: they were mine for a mere moment and it was one of the sweetest moments I will ever experience but  they are His for eternity and that too is one of the sweetest moments I will experience.  So I will not let my emotions drive the train so to speak, I will let the Truth of God’s word (reality) be the power that moves me forward, and I think I might even try riding this roller coaster with some fervor!  I’ll let go with hands in the air and enjoy the ride.  I’ll let the emotions that I am going through enhance the moment if you will.

Merry Christmas to you all!  This is the time of year when cards and letters fill my mailbox and I actually enjoy going to get the mail!  Thank you all for sending your best wishes to us and filling us in on the happenings of your precious lives!

This year has been very hectic but very lovely too! I thought that a month or two of respite after my graduation a year ago  would be nice… hmmm, oh well maybe another year!  This year later on would be dubbed “the year of events”, with a smile and a sigh of course.

My graduation was the start of the whole shabang, then Olivia’s graduation came and soon on the heels of that fun event was the official opening of The Jonathan Project (a Biblical Counseling Ministry) click here for the website, then off to Lauren’s bridal shower (my house is too small for one of those) and then the big day for Ike and Lauren. How lovely they were and how joyous to have so many of our friends and family at our sides!

 That took us through eight months, but the Lord did not stop there!  Then came the adjustment of Olivia being home full time and helping her settle into a routine that was not school, but not being a couch potato either.  She will begin volunteering at the YMCA soon for a few days a week.  We are hoping this will turn into a small part time job in the near future.  Charles and I traveled to SC for our first national conference for Biblical counseling, what an amazing blessing that was.  A true soaking in of God’s Truth and a desire to be used by Him in the lives of others was reignited.

Soon after that Charles’s oldest, Zach, moved to FL, into ”the pad” to be more specific.  He is enrolled at Daytona State College for the spring and currently looking for part time employment. Then little Miss Miria turned the big ONE!  What a cutie she is!   Her parents (Josh and Megan) are working hard to eventually have a home to call their own.

Where is Brenton in all of this you might ask?  Well, maybe hunting when he’s not working! Seriously, with all of the changes in our lives and the ups and downs that go with them, Charles and I have felt that Brenton has been the one to hold ”steadfastness”  as the banner of truth all year long.  He is a steady force in the family.  His presense brings cohesiveness, clarity and calm to each situation.  Wow, what a really cool eldest he is!

Visits with my sisters and Charles’s, as well as my mom, have been sprinkled throughout. Although it has been a tough year for Mom she remains true to her spirit of “boot strap~ pick yourself up and keep moving” mentality.  She will begin her third round of chemo next week, but says she will not continue if the side effects leave her as debilitated as the last round.  Please keep her in your prayers!  Her girls and son love her dearly and want to have as much time with her as the Lord allows.

The verse I chose to share this year in my cards to all of you is packed with applications for the heart that is open.  “Then the sheperds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, as it was told them.” Luke 2:20 Dear friends and family what a blessing we have to hear and hold the very words of God and to in faith act on them as He wills us to.  What a challenge it is to turn our hearts away from our busy lives and sometimes our very own self-focused mentality, to glorify Him and praise Him with all of our hearts.  To declare to others as we “return” to the busy~ness of life ALL that He has allowed us to see and to hear ….as it was told to us.  God speaks to us and tells us of His mighty love, of the provision for us as sinners in need of a Savior, of His Holy Spirit which comforts and teaches us exactly how to glorify Him.  To whom is He asking you to declare His glory?  Will you sing praises to Him of all he has done, as He said He would?  May God bless you and keep you as you endeavor to declare His glory!

Today is December 7th, a day which has gone down in infamy, as one of our former president’s prophesied it would. However, that was 68 years ago today, when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. Forty years ago today I was a nine year old little girl, one sibling of five, that lost her father. It is still sad to think of my dad and the memories of childhood and adulthood that have been missed with him due to his departure from this earth.
What I do remember is his laugh, his love of fishing, his bringing home the family’s first TV, his love of NASCAR, his tatoo , his holding my baby sister when she came home from the hospital, his strong hands, his watching football on Saturdays, and taking us to church on Sundays, and the Christmas he bought every one of us bicycles . I also remember each one of us loving him like crazy in our own way.
It has been a joy to introduce my children to their grandfather via these memories and photographs that mom has lovingly divided among us. He has been missed but not forgotten!